its not stalking. its research.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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