I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
