I'm laying in your front yard are you home
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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