I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it because I queefed?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
