Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I need water and some morals
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
