you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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