Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
