On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
PANTIES FOUND
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