At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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