So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
