She is in my trunk
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
