Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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