margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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