I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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