I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
