I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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