I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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