is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
