Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
