**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
