I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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