I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
