My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
