you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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