the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
