I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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