She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my shit smells like andre
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
