I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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