What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
