I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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