Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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