i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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