fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
