Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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