something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
