i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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