Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
