one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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