I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
