Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
