Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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