Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We are two peas in an std pod
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
