Who wears a wallet chain?!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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