your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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