no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
