I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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