Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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