Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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