i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
