the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
