oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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