she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
