dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He did a backflip because drugs
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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