i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
