My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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