don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
last night I used snow as a chaser
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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