so that wasnt chicken after all
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
