And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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