She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
